Mama Dracula (1980)

Mama Dracula

19801 h 30 min
Overview

A female vampire must bathe in the blood of virgins in order to stay alive. The trouble is that virgins are in short supply nowadays, and she is running into major problems in finding one.

Metadata
Title Mama Dracula
Tagline
Director Boris Szulzinger
Runtime 1 h 30 min
Languages French, English
Details
Movie Language English
Movie Rating Junk
Images

I like old movies. That being said, this pathetic movie doesn’t know whether it is trying to be scary or funny. It plays on every single stereotype and does so poorly. This is bad but not bad in the “cult classic” way. It is just… bad. In order for comedy to work, it has to have an underside of pathos. This just has an underside of pathetic.

WARNING: gratuitous nudity.

Son of Dracula (1974)

Son of Dracula

The First Rock-and-Roll Dracula Movie!

19741 h 30 min
Overview

Due to be crowned King of the Netherworld by his mentor Merlin the Magician at a monster's convention Count Downe, the son of Count Dracula, falls in love with the beautiful but human Amber and finds himself in conflict with Baron Frankenstein who is vying for the same honorary title.

Metadata
Title Son of Dracula
Tagline The First Rock-and-Roll Dracula Movie!
Director Freddie Francis
Runtime 1 h 30 min
Languages English
Details
Movie Media Other
Movie Language English
Movie Rating Very bad
Images

Some movies are so bad, they gain cult status. This should have been one of them. Unfortunately, it became all but lost shortly after its release. It starred Harry Nilsson and Ringo Starr with some wonderful music including Nilsson singing “Daybreak” and “Without You.” So much for the good. The acting was horrible, which is the first requirement for a cult classic. Unfortunately, finding a copy of the movie is very difficult. It is currently available on YouTube but the audio is difficult and there are numerous problems with the video. Still, I purchased a copy and it was unwatchable, so the YouTube is far superior.

Now, I must say, my interest in the movie came from listening to the soundtrack. As I said, the music is good. When I first listened to it, my experience went like this. (Remember this was from the soundtrack and NOT the movie and is to the best of my memory.) The scene was between Van Helsing and Count Downe, the Son of Dracula, who had fallen in love with a human woman. From the soundtrack, you could only tell that Val Helsing and Count Downe were in the scene.

Van Helsing: Drink this. It will be the last time. From then on you’ll no longer be able to sustain yourself as a vampire. I’ve drawn your fangs.
Count Downe breakings into singing “I Can’t Live If Living Is Without You”

I began laughing and didn’t stop for some time. I doubt it that was the hoped for reaction of the producers, but I had the vision of Count Downe staring in a mirror at his missing fangs plaintively singing, “I Can’t Living If Living is Without You” and thought, “yeah, if you are a vampire it will be difficult to live without your fangs.” I decided I had to find out how the song fit in with the movie. And the hunt began.

I’ll only say, it wasn’t his missing fangs he was serenading. The song isn’t even in the same scene.

All in all, I believe the producers may have been paying the actor by the amount of spoken words. There weren’t many. There were long scenes with annoying background music interspersed with Harry Nilsson singing and salted sparingly with dialogue to imply a story.

Rockabilly Vampire

Rockabilly Vampire

Burnin' Love

19961 h 30 min
Overview

A woman obsessed with Elvis Presley is having problems with her job, her landlord and her landlord's scummy son. One day she meets a man who looks and dresses just like Elvis. She immediately falls in love, but there's one thing she doesn't realize--"Elvis" is a vampire.

Metadata
Title Rockabilly Vampire
Tagline Burnin' Love
Director Lee Bennett Sobel
Runtime 1 h 30 min
Languages English
Details
Movie Language English
Movie Rating Very bad
Images
Actors
Starring: Stephen Blackehart, Paul Stevenson, Margaret Lancaster

Rockabilly Vampire is so bad, it is a must see. Take an Elvis wanna-be, add a reluctant vampire, then have him say prayer over his “meal.” Yup. You can’t help but groan. Interestingly enough, the prayer scene was done so much better in the TV series Blood Ties. We are so sorry Elvis. May you rest in peace.